One of the most clarifying questions you can ask is what you'd regret most from your deathbed, and then use the answer to define how you live now. That's the heart of Gay Hendricks' book "Five Wishes." It's a short parable in which the characters first look back from an imagined deathbed and complete the sentence "the main reason my life was not a total success is because I did not… (1 through 5)," then reframe it as "for my life to have been a total success, I wish I'd…," and finally settle into the present tense: "my life is a total success because I'm now… (1 through 5)."
Writing your own five, in that present-tense form, turns a vague sense of what matters into something you can actually orient your days around.
My Five Wishes
My life is a total success because I'm now:
- Giving enough of myself and my unique abilities to help as many people as possible each day.
- Married to my best friend, spending each day growing our love, laughter, joy, and bliss together.
- Making enough time to commit to my family, loved ones, and children.
- Coaching and empowering enough leaders for future generations to survive, persevere, grow, and thrive.
- Maintaining and nurturing a healthy relationship with God to support all the pillars of my life.
Key Points for Reflection
You are defined by who you choose to be while doing what you do. The bigger the question, the more it matters to answer it well. This moment is all the time you need right now. Whatever emotions or limiting beliefs come up, open the door and say "welcome." Keep breathing when feelings rise. Play the game of life with full commitment. We can still change how the next chapter reads, because we're the ones holding the pen.
Get the book: Five Wishes by Gay Hendricks on Amazon.
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