Words I like: “Worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due.’”
Worry doesn’t clock out at 5pm.
A bad client email follows you to dinner.
One loss erases three other wins today.
After receiving a negative email, a paralyzing fear sinks in, and you can’t shake it.
I really struggled with worry, stress, and anxiety in May 2024 when my wife “retired” to stay home with our Chief Cuteness Officer, and I became the sole provider for our family.
Within 1 week of that decision, I lost 33% of my expected summer income. I was super stressed and couldn’t stop worrying.
In my darkest times, I turned to Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
I shared these lessons learned at a recent Entrepreneur Roundtable to help a few CEOs, and hope this message helps you spend less time consumed by worry and anxiety.
Live in Day-Tight Compartments
Focus on today. Control what you can control. Mitigate risk.
Don’t drag yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s “what ifs” into today.
Handle what’s in front of you, then close the door on it before bed.
You can take this one step further to split each day into three compartments: morning, afternoon, and evening.
One compartment can absolutely suck.
You get to decide whether it ruins the other two.
Assume the Worst, And Then Calmly Take Back Controly
When you find yourself spiraling downward with worry, follow this 3-step protocol.
- What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can’t solve my problem?
- Prepare myself mentally to accept the worst if necessary.
- Then, calmly try to improve upon the worst, which I have already mentally accepted.
Most worry lives in the maybe. Once you name the worst case, your nervous system relaxes.
Now you’re dealing with an expected reality that you can improve upon.
In practice, this looks like: “OK, Mike. Your income is going to be significantly less this summer. That’s OK. That’s the new reality. Now, what’s one small action I can take to increase the likelihood of additional income from new or existing Malloy Industries clients? What else can I do? Let’s look at my savings account and calculate how long we can survive on that if no more money comes in…”
Pro Tip: Write down your worst-case scenario with pen and paper, and your worry will decrease faster. Name it to tame it.
Change Your Body To Change Your Mind
Here’s the part most people skip, and pay for.
When stress hits, your body floods with cortisol (the fight-or-flight chemical).
Your amygdala (the lizard brain) hijacks the system, and your prefrontal cortex (the part that solves problems) goes offline.
No amount of “thinking harder” fixes that.
My advice at the Entrepreneur Roundtable was simple:
When in doubt, push it out.
Do push-ups. Seriously.
Moving your body changes your biochemistry and helps flush the cortisol from your system. When you focus on doing 1 or 11 or 39 push-ups (or however many years old you are), you stop worrying and start breathing more.
If you’re in a meeting and can’t literally drop down and start doing push-ups, then here’s another biology brain hack for you.
Let your breath be your first word by breathing in through your nose, then take a second short inhale snort before exhaling. The second inhale flushes the cortisol from your system and reactivates your prefrontal cortex.
Pro Tip: Create your #1 “reset move” for bad moments when worry consumes you, such as doing push-ups, a double inhale breath, a 2-minute meditation, going for a walk, drinking water, or calling a loved one. You need a clear protocol for worrisome emergencies.
Grief -> Hope & Acceptance
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes.
When you lose a big opportunity, project, or client at work, you need to grieve that loss, too.
I wrote this post about grief after my mom passed away.
There are 5 stages of grief pictured above. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
They don’t always come in that order, but I’ve figured out the secret to shortening your grief cycle. Whenever you find yourself in any of the first 4 stages, the way out is always through hope and acceptance!
There are 3 ingredients for hope:
- Belief that a better future is possible
- Multiple pathways to reach it
- Agency and autonomy to influence your path
Hope this helps you overcome your waves of grief.
4 Steps to Banish Worry
Dale Carnegie recommends these 4 steps when you get overcome with worry:
What am I worrying about?
What can I do about it?
Here is what I am going to do about it.
Speed is a force. Start doing it now!
It’s Just A Temporary Inconvience
Worry doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you care, and you’re carrying weight.
Take whatever is most useful from this message and use it to lighten your load and strengthen your resilience.
As my dad always says, “This too shall pass. It’s just a temporary inconvenience.”
We’re all in this together,
Mike
P.S. Who do you know that’s as successful as you are and could benefit from working with Malloy Industries? Earn $$$ and Hawaiian shirts by referring friends.